Why Can We Never Utter A Clear, Bold, And Assertive NO?

Does the title look relateable or reminds you of any choice that you regret now?

I am sure it does!

It’s the most common question that most of us ask ourselves.

Why is it so difficult to say NO to obligations that we don’t want to do?

People have different reasons for saying YES without thinking. Some hate explanation, others don’t want to upset the requestor, and few are people pleaser and desire others to like them. There is no harm in saying YES to others but letting your work suffer will only affect you.

Tell me if it sounds similar,

One of your friends walks up to you and request you to drop him at the airport on Saturday.

You are well aware that you have plans for Saturday with your family, and you cannot cancel it.

You want to say NO but you JUST can’t. It’s either because don’t want to upset the requestor or you are too shy to say NO.

So, the escape route we choose is to give him an ambiguous response like-

Umm… Let me see, or I will let you know by Friday evening.

We are well aware that we have plans on Saturday and won’t be able to cancel it. But we don’t want to feel pangs of guilt. So, the best path we chose was neither by saying a YES nor a direct NO.

The best option we thought was to gave a vague answer because you don’t want the other person to feel morose, or you hate the feeling of being selfish.

We tend to say YES because we don’t want to land up in an argument or upset the other person. But a YES as a duty is equal to or even more harmful than saying NO.

Don’t forget that you are only responsible for yourself and people who are dependent on you.

Be honest with another person. Let them know the reason behind your NO. Instead of giving a dubious response like Umm… or let me see. It’s better to communicate with a proper explanation rather than doubtful answers.

A clear response like, you have other plans with family, and it won’t be possible to cancel it. Give them a proper explanation as to why you denied their request.

Many people will appreciate you for your honesty. But some might get upset or angry; give them the time, they will come around. However, we should also remember that how others feel is neither our responsibility nor our duty.

There is nothing wrong with saying NO when you don’t feel like or have other things that need your attention. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about giving priority to yourself over others.

There’s no harm in being selfish because it’s impossible to make everyone happy and only one person matters, and that is YOU.